There are people who will tell you that you’re good looking every fucking time they see you. But, the moment you start to believe that you are good looking and begin to show some confidence in your appearance, the same fuckers will tell you that you’re a stuck up narcissist.

The moral? Some people only like you if you’re as miserable a cunt as they are.

andreis-reaper:

There’s been a fly in my room since 9 this morning and it refuses to leave. I have the door and window wide open and it fucking refuses to get the fuck out. It’s like having someone crash at your place after the pub and they just can’t take the hint that you want them the fuck out.

sunday-storm asked:
Having the doors en windows open was a brave thing to do... What if other flies decided to enter your room?

Deoderant flame thrower.


Anonymous asked:
Oh my FUCKING GOD old people and technology... Now you are trying to get ME angry :/ (Why to they always call their children? WHY!?!?!?! No Dad, I will not come over and close the pop up window that you got off of a porn website. NOOOOO!) I always hoped you were drunk enough not to notice that I was hitting on you... That makes me feel better LOL

If I am in a situation where drunk people can hit on me, I am quite possibly the drunkest person in the room. Also, quit being silly and say hi. contrary to popular belief I’m not gonna throw you off a building for making eye contact with me while I’m sober.


Anonymous asked:
I accidentally Drunk-Hit on you once... I made a promise never to do it again. *Contemplates* I could share the shit that makes me angry as fuck right now... Like my bosses inability to find paperwork that is ON HIS FUCKING DESK, so he calls me in on my days off and... Oh look. Right on your desk where I said it would be, sits this "Missing Paperwork" *RAGE-FLAILS!*

Or when your father calls you at 9 o clock in the evening to ask you how to MINIMIZE A FUCKING WINDOW ON HIS LAPTOP! UPPER RIGHT CORNER, DAD.

UPPER. RIGHT. FUCKING. CORNER.

If you drunk hit on me I was probably also drunk and too out of it to notice.


There’s been a fly in my room since 9 this morning and it refuses to leave. I have the door and window wide open and it fucking refuses to get the fuck out. It’s like having someone crash at your place after the pub and they just can’t take the hint that you want them the fuck out.

Anonymous asked:
I could ambiguously hit on you, while pretending to be coy cause you don't know who it is. Oh! And then get all but hurt when you tell me to fuck off :P (Im trying here man! I would hate for you to miss out being angry for the day...)

That wouldn’t get me angry so much as make me ignore you. I find such people to be a waste of time. Either tell me you’re interested or shush.

You don’t understand, I need the energy that anger gives me to survive! Without anger I just sit around and eat! I finally got rid of 3/4 of my beer belly! I can’t lose that!


Anonymous asked:
I could pretend to be a Cos-playing furry who insists my "Spirit Rabbit Ears" are real?

See, pretend or not, it’d still hurt you when I hit you with a riot hose from close proximity. Best to give me something that deserves it.


Someone do something really fucking stupid so I can publicly berate and emotionally cripple you. 

What? It’s a slow post day.

Anonymous asked:
I'm gonna tell mom!

She’s not here, I’M THE ONLY FAMILY YOU HAVE!

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to emotionally abuse your boyfriend because that’s what big brothers do.

This is fun!


Anonymous asked:
Can I be your little sister?

Sure.

Stay the fuck out of my room and clean up the bathroom when you’re done with it.


It’s a shame I’m the youngest in my family, because I think I would have made a fucking awesome big brother. 

Ya know, just as long as they stayed the fuck out of my room. 

Anonymous asked:
Well, at least you're actually recommending stuff instead of calling everyone fake fans. That alone is worth giving the green death a look. Also, that comic relief ketch, FUCKING LOL!

That bit where he regenerates into Joanna Lumley and starts feeling herself up? It’s been 15 years and I still giggle like a dipshit.


I really wish more people would watch the older Dr Who serials with the first four Doctors. I’m not gonna be a cunt and say you’re not real fans of the series for not watching stuff from the 60s, but I am really curious as to why so many people are reluctant to do so? Is it the shortage of hunky Doctors? Is it the fact that the first serials were in black and white? Is it because William Hartnell looked like a spider in a man suit? Are you afraid of Tom Baker’s hair?

C’mon, at least watch the 1996 movie or even this comic relief sketch from 1999 with Mr Bean as the Doctor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do-wDPoC6GM 

But if you actually wanna give a few of the older serials a try I recommend The Green Death from 1973.

Giant maggots that are actually water filled condoms being filmed from a distance and the Doctors magnificent purple suit! Jon Pertwee will always be my favorite Doctor.

Think of it this way, you have a bunch of stuff from as far back as 1963 to fill the gaps between series and we all know how much the BBC likes to tease. So go on, have a laugh.

 

12 plays III: Death Dimension Phantasma Naglfar Téras